How to Get Past the Sea of Emotions Post Breakup - With Alyssa

Hi y’all! My name is Alyssa and I was born and raised here in San Antonio, TX. I think we all can agree that the majority of our breakups sucked but they made us better in the end. Everyone feels different when they are going through a breakup. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, regret, relief, or let down after it happens. Breakups give us a chance to prioritize ourselves and the things that we have pushed aside. You have time to really focus on your mental and physical health! This is what kind of kick started my fitness journey!


My breakup was after a two year relationship I was in. When my relationship ended it was a bittersweet day. I felt relieved but I also was very sad and heartbroken. I felt like my whole world ended because the person I had relied on for the past two years was no longer in my life. 


My breakup mentally was very, very hard. I struggled for a long time and didn’t know how to be alone. This comes my tip to surviving a breakup, give yourself the time you need to be alone. When you’re in a relationship, it can be easy to start to become codependent on that other person. I knew I needed to leave the relationship and it would be better for me. I needed to go out on my own. Even though I lost someone I really cared about, I needed to find and spend more time with myself. There is nothing wrong with being alone. In your seasons of singleness, is when you find the most incredible things out about yourself. You have time to push yourself to be that amazing person you weren’t able to do when you were codependent on another person. Even if you are in a current relationship, I strongly suggest making sure you have that alone time and are doing things by yourself that make you happy. Being alone and feeling alone are completely different things. Still surround yourself with friends and family, but you don’t have to be afraid to be by yourself and be okay with your own company.


All these feelings on feeling alone, regret, and sadness, lean into them. Feel them all, but don't wallow in them. It can help to acknowledge these deep and sometimes dark feelings. Write them down and talk to your loved ones. Watching movies, or listening to music involving people going through similar situations can reflect your experience, so these might offer some comfort. However, don't wallow in these emotions. You deserve to have time to grieve, but then it's time to start becoming yourself again. Reset yourself by getting out of the house, hanging out with friends, deep cleaning, or putting on some upbeat music. Do things that make you feel good even if it as small as burning your favorite candle or opening the curtains for some natural light. 


I know you probably have already heard this, but it does get better. Relationships are so hard on us because you have a deep connection with someone that gets broken. I think my darkest moment throughout the break up was when I had moved back into my parent’s house. I remember thinking this sucks, I was so comfortable with the life I had. It was hard to go from moving to another city and then going back to your parents. I felt heartbroken and uncomfortable. Actually, I was feeling any and all emotions you can think of. I was kind of depressed and this person, this life wasn’t happening anymore. The relationship itself was a dark place for me, but I think it was where I was. The town I was living in was a very, very small community. Everyone knows everyone and I felt alone. I remember telling my mom and best friends that I feel alone in this relationship and town. 

Being out of that relationship, allowed me to realize some truths about the situation and relationship I was in. You should never feel alone in your relationship, but I was settling because I love that person. It is the worst feeling in the world to be in a relationship with someone and not be able to talk to them about what you’re struggling with mentally. Being out of that situation, allowed me to realize that I deserved a relationship where I felt comfortable and seen. It does get better because you realize the kind of person and relationship you truly deserve. You start to focus on yourself more, which makes you mentally stronger and more sure of yourself for any future relationships. Or even for yourself, because finding yourself is a pretty amazing feeling!


Now, it’s been a year and I am doing great! I am traveling, gotten back into fitness, and living on my own. This has opened up so many opportunities like working with an amazing company like SP, I wouldn’t have had it if it was for that breakup. I never thought that was going to happen, but I am in a good place! I am making long-term and short-term plans. I can genuinely say that I am happy!


Anyone who is struggling with a break-up, I will tell you that it gets better! Channel all of your emotions and focus them on your healing. If you ever feel lonely, connect with nature. Go outside, get some fresh air, and take in that vitamin D. Go take a walk, watch the sunset, put on your favorite song and dance. That’s what I do! Do anything that makes you happy because although a break up is rough, it’s all about how you want to refill yourself and rebuild your life. It’s time for you to be that incredible person you’ve dreamed of becoming!